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"I put on pretty good sock puppet shows and I can mime"

"We were put together by the label, we had to try out in a gymnasium... no, just kidding "

"Whether they play us on the radio or not, if they put us on MTV or not, it doesn't matter 'cause all of you guys are standing here and we're a family. Punk rock is a family."

(when asked how touring has changed their lives) "I think you could say that we know more about the world, and we are now experts on the care and feeding of stinky, smelly socks."

"People think that I'm a really outgoing person because of how I am on stage. But I'm not. I'm really shy."

"I got kicked out of class so much and it wasn't fair because I was just talking. In class, if there was a pretty girl, I would just try to talk [to her] all the time. I like to talk, especially to girls. And I got kicked out of class all the time. The teacher would be like 'All right, stop,' and I'd be like 'Okay,' and keep talking. Then I'd try to impress her and it wouldn't really work. I'd get kicked out for trying to be funny, like they'd call me up to read and I'd read the wrong thing. I didn't take high school very seriously."

"This is a really intimate gathering... (pause, something flys up on stage) ...So intimate in fact, that someone just threw their bra up on stage!"

"We got Paul over here sportin' the Ravens. And we got Billy over here rockin' 'Nightmare Before Christmas.'"

"Always wear cute pajamas to bed,you'll never know who u will meet in your dreams"

"It's got to be hard to be a punk in colorado. There's no air."

"freedom!, um sorry i just always wanted 2 say that!"

Joel on his first kiss:

"Like with tongue and stuff? 16. I was really nervous but I'd been waiting to make out with someone. One day this girl just went for it-- sticking her tongue down my throat! It was kinda traumatizing. I thought kissing was supposed to feel good but it didn't. I never called her after that." i went to benj after to help me calm down

Joel on the first time he cried:

"When my mom dropped me off at school my first day of kindergarten."

Joel on the first time he got made fun of:

"I went to a pool party in 6th grade and there was this girl, Kelly I thought was fine. I had a little potbelly back then--hey I was just well fed. Anyway, I took off my shirt and started walking to the pool as Kelly was getting out. Everything was in slow motion like you see on tv. Then she looked at me and I'm like "Hi kelly." She said "Ewww Joel, you're fat!!!" Everyone started laughing. I've been traumatized from it for the rest of my life. Thank you, Kelly."(Stupid bitch..I hate people like that).

"Rock out likes dudes. Like Kittie. They rock out like dudes."

"We miss DC, We miss our mom, We miss our dog Cash, but we are here with you and that is much better than all of that."

"I gave him mouth to mouth resesitation." (Joel making up a story of a little boy dying when the floor caved in at one of their shows)

"I love all women!"

"Ohhh, the scalp massage. It's good. It's a good five minutes on the crown area. It's great."

"I gotta go brush my teeth!"

"I would have sex with Britney and make out with Christina, 'cause you know she's gonna have drama the next day."

"That's because there is no beer or ladies waiting!"

"The shit really hit the fan!"

"I would never sign to a label called Death Row."

"Benji had definitely been called a freak. I mean, I've been called a freak, too, but he's definitely more freaker than I am."

"Is that you, Santa?"

"Just because of what I said about Avril, some of our fans have turned their backs on her. And I don't think that's fair- for her."

"Just stay true to yourself and true to wut you believe"

"Like... dude.."

"I think Benji is a little bit more outgoing and in your face. I'm a little more reserved ans quiet and conservative in some ways. Benj is wild, you never know wut to expect out of him. He's out of control sometimes, and that's the way he is and I love him for it. I wouldn't change one thing about him. We're just like Ying and Yang, me and him, like night and day, sometimes. He's really outspoken and he say wut he thinks right away. He gots strong opinions and he's very hard core about being um...he's not straight-edged, like he doesn't call himself straight-edged but he is just very extreme, whatever he does is extreme and i'm not quite much like that"

Timber - Ian from NFG: And we are going to share our beds, because we hear thats the best way to show our love.

Joel: Thank you, Blanket. " I wanna make out with every single person in this room... you, and you, and you over there. "

Joel: (During a contest where girls were driving through bins of little foam popcorn) " Hey, that's kinda like, like Benji in the bathtub. "

Benji: " And you know that, how? "

"These are.nice socks"

"Those people who shun us just because of the label we're on, or the fact that we've got a video out there that's getting us somewhere, are only limiting themselves, because they aren't keeping an open mind. Besides, no band has ever given us shit for our career path. It's mostly just jaded punkers. And if that's the way they're gonna be, I'd rather have someone who doesn't know a thing about punk coming to our shows, 'cause they're the ones who like it for what it is, not for what it isn't."

"I was just in the middle of singing a song about how broke we were and now my cell phone rings."

"I think we're a hair band now."

"You all may love Canada, I hate Canada!"

"I've flown across America, I've scaled fences, I've stood under windows and gone out of my way hundreds of times. I'm a hopeless romantic. There's no hope for me."

"See that? (blows air) Cold."

"Alright, stop this now. Gonna get. Gonna get all tear teary eyed."

"It's like a real party because they're all our friends. Let's see. Tony from Mest." (Tony smacks Joel on the face.)

"Ow! That was Tony form Mest, and I'm gonna go kick his a** right now!" (He starts after him and there are some beeps.)

"Plaques are cool"

"Don't bite, ya know, don't bite!"

"Benj, rock your body"

"That's 'sk8er' with an 8 and 'boi' with an I. Like totally!"- Joel

"I look for color, style, size, texture... thickness. The breatheability of a shirt."

"I like cheese"

"You know, this is a good opportunity to make out with a security guard. They're not all assholes, they're actually pretty nice. "

" Kiss Kiss... (makes two kissing noises) "

" What the f*ck? Are those clams? "

" I got to see my mom again. She said I cuss too much, so I gotta work on it. "

"These guys ride you think I'm stupid for calling them motorcycles?"- about Dirtbikes

"He dates an actor, Gwyneth Paltrow-they probably have SEX!"- talking about the lead singer of Coldplay

"This one's for all you emo and skater kids, we know your sensitive" ( about Motivation Proclamation)

"A fan grabbed me and bit me on the back of my neck. bit me like blood, ya know"

"If I could pick my wife by name, It'd be Whitney. That name just sounds right"

"I like getting toilet paper thrown at me." when talking about their video "Festival Song".

"Spank you Sharon Osbourne, Spank you very much!"- the All Things Rock

 "Elijah Wood from Lord Of The Rings can't get married with a girl named Holly beacause it would make Holly Wood get it HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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